I suspect that even Chuck Norris would quiver a little at the sight of Niagara Falls. I’m sure many turn up thinking they’re about to see one of the highest waterfalls in the world, but that’s a mistake. The Niagara Falls aren’t particularly lofty, but they sure are powerful. It’s the force and volume of water passing over the brutalised escarpment that are spellbinding, not where the water is dropping from.
The falls at Niagara have the power of four Great Lakes behind them. The water is bottle-necked in the Niagara River after passing through the system in Lakes Superior, Huron, Erie and Michigan. It will eventually make its way to the Atlantic Ocean via Lake Ontario and the St Lawrence River.
And this bottleneck, coupled with the need to drop elevation over the escarpment, has created what is justifiably one of the world’s greatest natural tourist attractions. Standing by the side of the falls, you can feel the ferocity as well as hear it. You’re constantly spat at from the angry, watery snake pit beneath the Horseshoe (or Canadian) Falls, where the river smashes and explodes after being thrown over the edge.
You can forget everything else at Niagara – it’s worth coming just to watch this constant bombardment, which is a reminder of how nature can easily pummel man’s best efforts into oblivion.
Niagara’s Fury: The Creation of the Falls
Niagara Falls isn’t a peaceful spot (which perhaps befits the falls themselves). It has been turned into something of a resort town over the years. There are all manner of things to do – some great, some tacky. Fitting somewhere between the two is Niagara’s Fury: The Creation of the Falls. This ‘4D experience’ is divided into two parts. First up, you’re given a cheap plastic raincoat and shepherded into a room to watch a film about how Niagara Falls came to be on a big screen. It’s clearly aimed at the kiddy audience, with far more emphasis on graphics and talking animals than on the science.
Following that, you’re ushered into a separate room, where a screen stretches 360 degrees around the wall. The images flashing up on those screens – glacier, melting ice, lightning strikes and tumbling water – mirror the broad history. But the experience is multi-sensory – temperatures drop, snow blowers create a wintery storm, the floor jolts around in time to the lightning flashes and liberal amounts of water are repeatedly thrown over the mugs in the middle.
It’s good fun, if not exactly great value or what going to Niagara Falls is really about. If you’ve only got a limited time there, it’s probably best skipped.
Journey Behind The Falls
The same applies to the Journey Behind The Falls. Tickets for the two attractions can be bought as a combo, but the timed ticketing system is a shambles. I was given a 12.20 ticket when I needed to be back at the bus for 12.45. I got to the queue at 12.10, and it was so long that I didn’t get to the elevator that takes you down to the fall-side lookout until 12.30. Essentially, I had about three minutes down there before having to queue to get the elevator up again. Selling timed tickets is staggeringly pointless if they’re not limited or enforced.
Anyway, you’ve got a couple of holes to look through where you can see the water thundering down before your eyes, and another viewing platform where you can brave a forceful barrage of spray to sidle up right next to the falls. If you’ve got the time and the money, it’s possibly worth doing, but if it’s a case of picking one thing to leave out, this is probably the option to skip.
Maid of the Mist
On the flip side, if you’re choosing one thing to leave out on a visit to Niagara Falls, it should on no account be the Maid of the Mist boat cruise. It may only last twenty minutes, and the boats may try and fit far too many people on for prime viewing comfort , but the experience is incredible. Again, everyone is given a cheap blue plastic raincoat – it looks disturbingly like a marker for those about to be sent to their death by an evil harbourmaster.
You soon stop worrying about not being able to get room at the edge of the deck as the boat takes off towards the American Falls. These are, in a way, more picturesque. The water rages over the top, then cascades its way through the fallen rocks at the bottom. The boat gets up pretty close, and you get a proper perspective on the ferocity of the water thrown over the edge. But only 10% of the water goes over the American Falls, and it’s when the boat starts inching its way into the chasm created by the Horseshoe Falls that the excitement really builds. Position doesn’t matter, as people soon realise that trying to take photos is an exercise in futility. The angry squall of the fracturing water plumes ensures a good shower for all. Cameras go away to the safety of pockets and the thrill of being sucked into an apocalyptic maelstrom becomes the joy. It’s one of those classic experiences where living in the moment is far more important than trying to capture it.
The journey back to Toronto
It takes ninety minutes to two hours to drive back to Toronto, but there are a couple of worthwhile stops on the way. The town of Niagara on the Lake is everything that the town of Niagara Falls is not. The latter is a mini-Vegas, all giant hotels, casino resorts and rather tacky tourist attractions. Niagara on the Lake is a cute little 19th century time-warp, where no shop can sell too many antiques or too much fudge.
It’s also noticeable that there are a fair few vineyards on the outskirts of Niagara On The Lake. Believe it or not, Canada does have a wine industry and it has to be remembered that Niagara is roughly level with southern Oregon or the South of France. White varietals do best, but ice wine is the regional specialty. This is ultra-sweet and is made when the water inside the grape is frozen – the grapes have to be picked and pressed in the middle of night during the coldest hours of winter.
On the way back to Toronto, we stop at the Niagara College Teaching Winery, where students learn about viticulture and help with the wine-making process. We get three glasses to try, including an ice wine. I can’t say I’m overly impressed with any of them, but I can see who the ice wine would work for. There’s potential there.
Of course, wine is just the ticket to make everyone sleepy for the drive back. It’s a fairly long day, but it’s unquestionably worth it. In fact, it’s worth it just for the falls and the Maid of the Mist Cruise. Anything else is just a bonus.
